Kirby, the Shih Tzu’s Advice to Presidential Candidates
With the Assistance of His Friend,
David Hartley Mark
1. Don’t Make Poopy where you Eat. It gets Messy.
2. When you go Outdoors, always Sniff the Wind before Taking a Stand.
3. Join the Pack when you wish, but don’t be afraid to be a Lone Wolf (or Dog) when Other Dogs are Doing or Saying Foolish, Nasty, or Insulting Things. Lead from the Front.
4. Be ready to Dance for Them what gave you a Treat.
5. Try not to speak in the Name of the Big Doggy God. What do you, a small brown Shih Tzu, know of the Mysteries of the Universe? Let Everyone Bark, Meow, or Chirp according to their own Conscience, and the World will get along Better.
6. Be nice to Other Dogs whose Tushies you sniff going Up; you may meet those same Tushies going Down.
7. He who Barks Last, Barks Best.
8. Try not to Comb your Fur Strangely. Other Dogs will make Fun.
9. Making Puppies is Swell, but Supporting Them takes Money, Love, and Concern. Be Careful. Don’t ignore the Dogs already in the Shelters. Remember: you were a Rescue, once, yourself.
10. The World would be a Better and Kinder Place if Everyone Curled Up and took a Nap in the Afternoon.