Monday, December 19, 2016

Sixteen Knesset Members: A Threnody for the Women of the Wall, As Sung by PM Benjamin Netanyahu (with assistance from Tennessee Ernie Ford)

Sixteen Members: A Threnody for the Women of the Wall,
As Sung by PM Benjamin Netanyahu (Behind the Scenes, of Course)

By David Hartley Mark

(with a little assistance from Bibi’s Orthodox Coalitzya Partners,
& Tennessee Ernie Ford)



Jail women for shofar-blowing? That’s what Shas’s
Western Wall bill says
Mixed-gender prayer at Robinson’s Arch would lead to 6 months in jail or hefty fine; incendiary legislation is unlikely to pass, though Shas chief warns struggle against Reform is ‘uncompromising’
BY MARISSA NEWMAN December 13, 2016, 6:01 pm 
Times of Israel



Bibi:

I’ve got Sixteen Members
                                                Of my Coalition Team
                                                Backin’ this Bill
                                                So don’t expect no spleen
                                                When Women of the Wall
                                                Take Tefillin in hand
                                                The Temple Cops’re comin’
                                                ‘Coz we’ve got it planned

                                                Enraged Orthodox Rabbis:

                                                The Mishtara is comin’
                                                ‘Coz we’ve got it planned

                                                Bibi:
                                               
I’ve got bigger problems ‘fore me
                                                Than a bunch of broads
                                                ISIS is in Syria
                                                So, help me, Lord
                                                Iran is building bombs (they think)
                                                But I’ve got a plan
                                                I’m walling off Hamas in Gaza,
                                                And Trump’s my man

                                                Ultra-right Members of Coalition:

                                                He’s walling off Hamas in Gaza,
                                                And Trump’s his man

                                                Bibi:
                                               
My major issue, nowadays
                                                Is survivability—
                                                Israel’s got a brain-drain going—
                                                Can’t you see?
                                                It’s not that we need settlements—
                                                My Iron Dome
                                                And David’s Sling Components
                                                Will guard Zion’s home

                                                The Generals:

                                                The David’s Sling Components
                                                Will guard Zion’s home

                                                Bibi:

                                                I look good in a pinstripe suit,
                                                I scream, “Islamic Terror looms!”
                                                And Israelis all throughout the land
                                                Go from malls to plastic-lined rooms
                                                David Friedman’s US
Ambassador,
                                                He’s more right-wing than me,
                                                The wingnuts ruling USA
                                                Have set me free

                                                Amen Chorus in Trump Administration,
                                                Along with Religious Right:

                                                We’re the Rightwingnuts in power, Bib,
                                                We’ll set you free

                                                Bibi:

                                                So who cares? Ban our Sodastream,
                                                We’re Big Dog on the Block,
                                                We’re keeping watch on Evil Iran,
                                                We’re clocking Putin’s stock;
                                                Israel has never been so key,
                                                A regional giant, too—
                                                So when we crush a coterie
                                                Of women, what can you do?

End with the Chief Rabbis, Sons of Chief Rabbis, Sons of Politicians:

Try’n drag us through the Israeli Courts—
We’ll harass you with something new.

All:

When Jews act anti-semitically,
Then

What’s a Jew to do?