The Ballad of the Coronation of the Emperor Donald John
By David Hartley Mark
‘Twas the Royal Coronation of the Emperor Donald John,
And all his loyal retainers stood at his right hand, anon:
Th’Imperial Hall was rich bedecked, in golden taffety,
More gold was displayed everywhere, for all the eyes to see.
For golden plate did rich elate the wealthy attendees,
And wine aglow and liquor also did quench their appetease.
Still, not a drop did the Emperor sup, his brain was sharp and hard:
On his throne he sat, and twittered that “My decisions are smart & diehard!”
Reporters who inform the Masses, dispel Imperial mysteries,
Were not to be found on air or ground—their absence, it did please
The Emperor. “Bah! Where’s Ivanka?” He clapped his hands full thrice,
And there appeared, in manner weird, his daughter-accomplice
With countenance cool (ne’er think her a fool), she whispered in his ear,
And deftly plucked his phone, and tucked
It, into her bandolier.
A fly on the wall supplied me with all
The names of the Baron Band
Whom Emperor Don collected as solons
To rape and purge the Land:
First, Tillerson, who first begun to hug and kiss Putin,
Will reap rewards of millions more beneath our Eagle’s grin.
While Gary Cohn directs the National Econ, he’ll better direct his own:
Like Tillerson, he’ll pay no tax on all business shares he owns.
Steve Mnuchin, the Treasury Sec, will sell off CIT,
Will mow his hedge, and dodge his tax—
Is there a trend, we see?
Betsy DeVos and Wilbur Ross, the Ed and Commerce Sec.’s,
Will also stake a major tax break, which scarcely will them vex.
Andy Puzder, of Carl’s Jr., will be Trump’s man at Labor,
And he, like they, will avoid the pay-
Ing tax; ‘twill be in his favor.
And what of Nazi Steve Bannon? Let’s not leave fascists out:
His capitalist days at Goldman Sachs made him a pile of gelt—
But he won’t pay a cent today: he and the above? Include them out.
“’Tis plain,” the Fly of Truth declaimed in its thin fly-voice to me,
“If this is how they profit going in, what will their benefit to America be?
“And didn’t Mr. Trump proclaim, time ago, to ‘champion the Forgotten Man’?
“He seems to have forgotten that—should we reminding him?
“Well, now I see that he’s busy—but what about the Klan?”
My thoughts were scrambled, then and there, by a loud burst of trumpets and drums:
I saw a mass of uniforms, and beheld a troop of guns:
‘Twas the Emperor’s Military Advisors, and a goodly sight to see—
All flags and cannon and pennants aloft, and I saluted Old Glory.
We stood, we pledged, sang “The Spangled Banner,”
And spoke of Evil Threats:
Islamic Terror, Gay Overreach, and the Need for Nuclear Bomblets.
For all the folks were carrying, and that made me feel safer—
Of course, Steve Bannon shot a busboy, but we hid the body beneath the myrrh.
“My friends—“ the Emperor rose to speak, and the crowd gave a visible groan—
“I’m pleased that you’re all here with me, and not making money on your own.
“For the rule is, ‘Share and share alike,’ and that’s the way to be,
“For an emperor acts as an emperor must, and there’s never been an US Emperor like me.
“If you take from the poor and give to the rich, be certain to cover it up;
“If you don’t pay a tax, just delay and delay—claim it’s you the media’s set up.
“If your facts don’t add up, just make up new facts;
“If your facts are lies, then shout louder;
“If they call you out, change the subject fast—
“Stick your lip out; try to look prouder.
“You can fool lots of people lots of the time;
“Because you are rich, you get richer;
“When you say crazy things from the back of a limo,
“Just hold your thumbs up in the picture.
“So stick along with me, have your balls made of brass,
“Don’t forget to hate others and blame them—
“Be certain to pick on the most helpless of groups,
“And the ones who can hurt you—well, tame them.”
It was time for to listen to the Emperor’s men:
The Generals who would defend us—
The Country? Or the Emperor’s policies?
I wasn’t sure—I thought it all horrendous.
A General Kellogg took to the stage—
He and General Flynn were the center
Of Trump’s right-wing attack force on all things that threatened—
To find, seek, destroy, and rearrange
The entire World in more American style
To make it all safer and calmer
By removing the Middle East, Russia, and China;
And replacing North Korea with South Carolina.
The room began swimming—my head growing weak,
I put down my Trump-flavored seltzer,
Stumbled past the Marine Guard,
Through the Wall Street clique,
And blundered past one or twenty bankers.
Into the Rose Garden,
Past Nixon’s grave,
I gazed towards the Lincoln Memorial,
Will the Nation survive
Nearly a decade
Of Imperial Trumpism Historical?
References: NY Daily News, "Trump's Wealthy Cabinet picks stand to get richer as they sell off their stocks-- and avoid paying millions in taxes," (Adam Edelman)
The Nation.com, "One of Trump's top military advisers played a key role in the disastrous Iraq occupation," by Tim Shorrock, 11/18/2016