Day 7, The First Passover: Walking Through Sinai, 1446 BCE(?), 1250 BCE(?)
By David Hartley Mark
Scene: Somewhere in the Wilderness of Sin, between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth of the second month after the departure of the Israelites from the Land of Egypt. A hot, sunny day. I mean, really hot and sunny.
Moses (at the head of the line of march): And I led you, at the LORD’s command, out of Egypt, with many signs and wonders, into this great and awesome desert, to live through His miracles and mercies….
Israelite One: Doesn’t he ever shut up? I’m tired.
Israelite Two: Yeah, and I’m hungry. And chafed. Have you got any of that cornstarch powder?
Israelite One: Sorry, Man. It’s chametz.
Two: Oh. Shoot. Chara. I forgot.
One: Yeah. I had to toss it, back around Elim. You know, the twelve springs of water.
Two: And the seventy palm trees. Yeah, that was nice.
One: You counted the palm trees? Who counts palm trees?
Two (defensive): Whaddayou want? I was bored. And Efrem, the Scribe who’s taking all this stuff down, asked me and Tsurbanipal to count the palm trees. Plus, he gave us extra, matza.
One: Oh, okay. Sorry. I get it. Count the palm trees. Sure. And for extra matza? You rock, Man.
Two: That’s OK.
(They walk along a bit longer in silence.)
Moses: For the LORD has heard your grumblings, and by evening, you shall know that it is the LORD who free us from Egypt, the LORD alone, and lo, not an Angel, nor a Cherub, nor a Ceraph, nor an Ophan, nor….
Two: Hey, do I look fat in this robe?
One: Hold still a minute and let me look. Turn sideways. Pull the robe in a little. Hmm—maybe a little bit.
Two: You know, by the Seventh Day of Pesach, that Matza starts to build up on you.
One: Hey, I know what you mean….