I am Trump’s Brain
by David Hartley Mark
Everyone in the entire world—men, women, kids—should listen to me. I know everything about everything.
I don’t want to rule the world, but I do want to defend the USA. My ideas will give my government and my people the ability to do this. Nobody has ideas like mine, because no one is as smart as I am.
I really like Putin—I call him “Vlad”—and I hope that he likes me, too. I want to be just like him.
Europe is full of sh*t. When will they realize that I can squash them flat? Time for a trade war with the EU!
I want—I really, really want—a trade war with China. I’m gonna get back at all those Chinamen for everything they’ve done to us.
See, my strategy is to keep changing, keep on moving. That way, when Mueller tries to slam his fake investigation on me, all of my Base will defend me. Simple.
Well, maybe I’d like to be King of the World. Who said that? Oh, yeah—“Titanic.” That’s what I want to be: titanic.
My guy, Kavanaugh, will change everything about SCOTUS. What matters is not a judge’s political views but whether they can set aside those views to do what the law and the constitution require. But mainly, what I require. Who cares about the Law?
I never contradict myself. Everyone should believe everything I say. That’s what I mean by my being a stable genius.
I think what has happened to Europe is a shame. Allowing the immigration to take place in Europe is a shame. I think it changed the fabric of Europe and, unless you act very quickly, it’s never going to be what it was and I don’t mean that in a positive way. So I think allowing millions and millions of people to come into Europe is very, very sad. I think they are losing their culture.
Sadiq Khan, the (Muslim) mayor of London, is responsible for terrorism in that city — because he allows immigrants to live there.
Well, that’s enough for today. I’m hungry. Where is my guy with the three double cheeseburgers, two shakes, three fries and a large apple pie?